A Long Week.

It has been a very long week. A tremendous one that I thoroughly enjoyed. I have had great conversations and seen great things done by great young people. I have met people in ways I didn't know was possible. There were surprises in the least likely of places. I connected on many levels with many people.

This was the kind of week that fills you with hopes and dreams. Your imagination begins to run wild with thoughts of the future and present mixed together. You have to gather yourself many times and relocate to the actual present and what those conditions are.

My brain is muddled mess of thoughts, reactions, beliefs, and dreams. All of them are seemingly flowing right into the next one. I don't always know if what I am thinking is imagination or reality. I have hopes and dreams that are apart of these thoughts that I hope are true.

I really need to find a space to take it easy and reflect. I think I will do that now...

Pure Random Thoughts

I have a desire to write in this mediocre attempt at a blog but I cannot think of a single worthwhile thing to write about. So, I thought that I would entertain you with some random thoughts...

There are days that I wish that everything was easy...

It is so much easier to be honest when no one is around to here you...

I am enjoying Merlin (BBC TV Series)...

Each day I wake up wondering if this is the day that I truly change the way people see me. If I wake up this way each day, it means that yesterday was the day nothing changed...

I am really wishing that I lived at camp right now. Life would be so much easier for me...

While I want to help make it work, I really don't want to do what I am being asked to do...

I find myself thinking I hate things and then feeling bad that I do because I hate that word and what it means...

Tonight is not a happy night...

I miss how it feels...

I need to make sure they know how I feel...

Life was looking better a couple weeks ago...

Good Night all...

One Great Moment

Today something amazing happened to me. In a day that was up and down, confusing, and irritating, there was a ray of sunshine that blew me away. That ray of sunshine came from the unlikeliest place, a 5th grader.

This 5th grader does not always have the best days. He does not always want to do things. To say he is "rough around the edges" would hardly explain what he goes through on a daily basis. Despite all of the challenges that he has, he is a survivor. I love this kid. He makes it happen. He wants to be different. He is trying to be his best. He just needs the support.

I have not seen him for weeks until today. I did not know he was going to show up. He was the first one off the bus and RAN straight for me and just jumped into this huge hug. It was astounding. He had this huge smile. It was so easy to tell that he was just so happy to be there. I could tell that he was happy to see me. He was happy to be in a place that he loves with people that care about him.

That moment, that lasted a total of 10 seconds, was the single greatest moment of the last month. Those moments are the reason I do what I do. I will forever remember this moment and what it did for me personally.

Thank you for that moment.

Some days are just better than others.

Today was not a great day. I woke up feeling alright after a crappy nights sleep and then just went down hill from the moment I got to the office. I do not like being angry. I do not like days like this. I feel bad for me and those around me.

I try hard not to let it show but I know it does. Then I feel bad for those that are around me. My job suffers. My relationships suffer. I suffer. These are the tough days. The days when the darkness starts to creep in. When the people around me can do very little right by me. I start to analyze every detail that everyone says. I begin to see faults where there are none. I begin losing confidence in myself.

This is all negative though. This is what I do not want. All I need is a little sleep and some water. Tomorrow will be better. There is no doubt in my mind.

While this post may not be my best addition, it is an addition nonetheless and I feel that as long as I am writing, the good stuff will come. Here are some random thoughts for the first time in this location...

It was easier before all this happened...

I am sorry that happened, I am embarrassed...

This has been a rare good talk...

I wish there was no need for money...

What would the world be like if you didn't need money for anything?...

Today is a rest day and it is much needed...

I need to clean...

I need to shower...

Wish the cable was working. Though, my internet works and that is weird since they are from the same company...

Glad I am not planning a baby shower. That sounds so awful...

It is time to get some real rest...

Enjoy...

A New Direction

Since I am in the process of ending the other blog I might as well put a link up for you to the other blog so that you can read past posts of mine. I also have driven my life in a new direction in a matter of a couple days. It is high on my list of priorities at the moment. I will be making it happen. All I need from you is a little help. There will be more information coming within this blog shortly. Until then, this is where I am with this project.

My Random Thoughts

The fate of this blog?

I have come to a crossroads when it comes to this blog. Everything I intended it to be, it never became. I have never had the resolve to keep it going. That is okay, for I gave it a try. Sometimes that is all that you can do it life is try. I even gave it a good faith effort but never found myself carving out time to make this blog happen. That is what this kind of blog deserves.

As a result, I am changing things up. I am ending The Critic in Me. In reality what I should have done is have both of my blogs going together as both are my perspective on the world both big and small. I should just writing my ramblings in one blog. I will do this from this day out.

The location of this new blog will be here. The title will change to My Random Thoughts as it is more indicative of what I am writing here. I will still have my ramblings of my favorite this as well as my general life philosophy and the continuing mediocre commentary on the state of my own life.

I appreciate all that came and read this blog and I hope you continue to do so.